unmariofandomcom-20200214-history
Princess Rosalina
Princess Rosalina is a super attractive woman who is also the trophy wife of the evil poser Dark Meta Knight. She holds a magic wand because she thinks that she's some fairy or something. Early life As a child, Rosalina was hatd by her parents. They once left her alone in the woods because they didn't want her around anymore. They then burned down her room and moved to Canada to get as far away from their daughter as possible. She then later met a man who called himself Michael Jackson who wanted to take her to his basement to keep her safe from thee bad people, but she thought he was scary due to the fact that he had no nose and ran for her life. She was later on adopted by Paris Hilton, who taught her the art of being an attractive doorknob.Hilton later gave Rosalina a magic wand because she thought it looked ugly and didn't want it. Rosalina then started to master the wand, able t odo whatever she wanted with it. However, Hilton got mad at her one day because she got dumped by That Guy and kicked Rosalina out into the street... literally. She then picked up a job as a waitress in a coctail bar where people still didn't like her and even threw stuff at her. She also had various odd jobs such as Day Care Specialist, VCR Repair Man, Photographer for the Daily Bugle, Pizza girl, Nurse, Junior Dental Assistant, Senior Dental Assistant, and Ranch Hand. Teen years After her waitress job didn't do her any good, she deciced to go into modeling and acting, but she was bad at all of those, too. Sure, she was attractive at this point, but her acting was terrible and she was as dumb as a doorknob. Her first movie, The Legend of Zelda: Daylight Savings, was very bad. Everyone that watched it died seven minutes into the movie, which is why no one knows how it ends. The ones that were still alive threw stuff at her some more and threatened her. She became a total loser, like Waluigi, excpet more attractive. Rise to Power At that point she ran away once again and met a cute thing called a Lumma named Henry, which was abused and negelcted by its owner. She took the Lumma in and asked it to take her to the others. At that point her mind finally snapped and she enslaved the rest of the Lummas to be her personal slaves and pets. She used them to take over things, such as a piece of land she called The Kingdom of the Crystal Shoes, named after the ones she wore on her feet. Henry became her personal assistant, because Rosalina claimed she owned his soul. However, she was over thrown by Weegee and her Kingdom was turned into the State of Weegee, which was later destroyed and rebuilt as the Squadala Empire. Later life She eventually met up with a poser named Dark Meta Knight, who was really just imitating his poor half-bother Meta Knight. For some reason, the two fell madly in love with each other and they got married and not live together in Dark Meta Knight's Mansion made of gold with a swimming pool of money on his private island. She sometimes uses the Lummas to carry out any tasks that she is too lazy to do for herself. Shames Her first ever apperance was in the shame, Stupid Mario Galaxy. Rosalina became desperate to date somebody, so she hired Bowser to go kidnap Peach and her sisters, Apple and Pear, to provoke Mario into rescuing them because he's a pimp like that. But just as he is about be beat Bowser's sorry butt, Bowser's grandma hits Mario on the head with a frying pan and sends him flying into outerspace without a helmet. With her plan a success, she gets one of her Lumma slaves into bringing Mario to her, and from that point on, all she ever does is flirt with Mario and tell him how much she wants a king to rule beside her. Mario took the offer and rules the galaxy with her as husband and wife. Mario then rescues his other three girls from Bowser and they all live together happily ruling the galactic empire for all an eternity... that is until the Rebel Alliance on the Forest Moon of Endor hatched a plan involving Bowser for President. In the game's sequel, Stupid Mario Galaxy: Revenge of the Nerds, Bowser returns and runs for President on behalf of the Rebel Alliance on the Forest Moon of Endor in order to stop Mario and Rosalina's reign of terror. However, before he can even do that, Rosalina sends out the bounty hunter Captain Norton to go and kill him. Bowser, however, unleashes his evil Pretzel Men on the galxay and it's up to Mario and Rosalina to stop and eat them all. In the end, Mario and Rosalina get so friggin' fat that they can't even fit in the universe anymore. They both explode, causing the Big Bang, recreating the universe so that the events of both Stupid Mario Galaxy games never ever happen and they have to start all over again. Trivia * Rosalina is hot. Category: Guys